When $&?! hits the fan,

It sucks when you hold someone to a high standard and they disappoint you. It’s like they don’t even hold themselves to that stature so it makes their actions excusable. 

I’ve been admiring the many relationships and marriages around me and only see the surface and only hear the years that they’ve reached. But I wonder behind all of the happiness, what work was done? What barriers were broken? What made them stay? The truth.

Social media is into, “relationship goals” … over an image. But really what’s the truth? And when the $&?! hits the fan, are both individuals going to continue writing their story? 

I believe love shouldn’t be one sided and if both individuals are going to be together, then by all means strip yourselves bare of any and all insecurities, burdens, heartaches, confusion, any negativity, dreams, aspirations, desires … IT ALL. 

But it seems like some of us aren’t quite ready for that side of our partner, we would rather much focus on the surface than the ugly truths. 

But in the meantime,

I believe that we should prepare ourselves to become parents way before conception. Parenting is a reflection of ourselves, who we are, our values, where we stand, and so forth. In the back of my mind I have always wanted children, I just “thought” I would be in my late eighties.

Just kidding but my focus was on school, graduating, beginning a career in my field, saving, moving out of my parent’s home, and just figuring it all out beforehand. That’s what majority of us “thought” would happen right? It has just amazed me that in a matter of two minutes, my life changed and I did not think I was prepared.

I still don’t but a flame has been lit under me to just go. Since then I have been thinking of  all the aspects of  myself that aren’t too flattering and figuring out ways to alter them or just rid them completely. In the meantime I pray for a healthy baby boy/girl, whose gummy smile will cheer anyone’s day, who is kind, and filled with love from mommy and daddy.

In the meantime, I am preparing myself and I’ll still be preparing myself for the many years to come.

Why me?!

It seems as if whenever I am redirected in my life by some sort of unforeseen situation, I ask myself, WHY ME?! I think we all ask ourselves that question maybe once or even more at some point in our lives.

Dramatically screaming to the sky, tears streaming down my face, and my fist clenched today after asking this question. I thought to myself:

Well Brittany,

• Why do you have an amazing, loving, and supportive family?
• Why are you in good health?
• Why did you get a chance to attend college and graduate?
• Why were you raised by will doing parents who want nothing but the better for their children?

Those questions never come to mind whenever I am caught up in the midst of negative situations. The million blessings that I have seem to hide behind a dark cloud or two all because a situation seems so impossible in the moment. 

So  .. why not me!? 

I cannot possibly believe that I can become all I am created to be without hardships. I do believe a little scarring won’t hurt and whether I asks myself, “Why me?!”, during those tough times it just unacknowledges those millions of blessings .. it simply silences the lesson that I’m suppose to carry with me into the next chapter of my life. 

Hello Mama!

Okay, let’s begin 2017 with a growing baby. Here I am 15 weeks pregnant expecting to deliver July 3, 2017. I have become more at ease since my boyfriend and I first found out. It has been the love and support I have received from my family and friends that has reassured us that we will be fine.

I have been on doctor visits, read many pregnancy articles, downloaded different pregnancy apps that label my baby as fruits and veggies, and subscribed to mommy e-newsletters which tell me absolutely nothing. Completely different from 2016 where I was finishing my senior year of college and savoring every little bit.

However this is a new chapter in our lives. I don’t know what 2017 is holding for me but I do know that I will be the mother of a little angel and I am tearing up as I am typing so bear with me as I get a little emotional. But 2017 I will be preparing a nursery, attending breast feeding classes, planning a gender reveal and baby shower, asking my mom a million questions, and enjoying every moment of each moment.

My boyfriend and I are beginning our own family and I am happy. My parents will become grandparents, brothers and sisters will become aunts and uncles, my grandparents will become even greater, and it is a really warm feeling.

So cheers to a New Year with a unconditional love for our little angel.